Stay
by KazeLightbringer
Summary: You said don’t go. You want me to stay. But to stay means I will feel pain. But pain, I will defy, for the one I most cherish…A Shizuru x Natsuki oneshot.


Words escape me as I stand here alone on the dark confines of my apartment. Outside, the sky is crying out, sympathizing with my pain. And even now, with a thousand miles between us, I could still feel your heart…wishing that it would beat the same time as mine's…wishing that I would be the one it is calling for…

Tomorrow will be a big day, I should rest now, though I doubt if the growing pit of anxiety in my stomach would allow me to have some peace.

----

The flight from Tokyo was long, but compared to the eternal longing I felt without you, it only seems like a blink of an eye. And finally, I am here again, at the grounds of Fuuka Gakuen, at the day of your graduation, my dear Natsuki.

Ah, there you are. I spotted you immediately from the crowd. And even if you were placed in the middle of a million faces, I could easily see you. For I could always hear your heart, the heart of my dearly beloved.

I hung back among the others, wanting nothing but to watch you silently. The celebration is almost over, and I feel myself being torn into two. A part of me wanted to stay, but the other part told me to move on. After all, there is nothing here in the Academy but pain. And my heart could no longer bear any more of it.

As I was whispering my last goodbye, you suddenly turn your head towards my direction. Maybe it was pure luck, maybe it was destiny, or maybe I am just fooling myself, on how you instantly knew where I was.

Our eyes locked and all my fears catch up to me. No, no no...this should not be it. You should not see me anymore. You should not know that I am here to see you.

I tried to run away, as fast as I could, with each step breaking my heart into smaller pieces.

"Shizuru!"

It was really a mistake to look back, but I had this overwhelming desire just to see you up close for one final time before I leave. And little did I know that it would be one big mistake…

I tripped over a large vine of a sakura tree. I braced myself for the hard-impact, already dreading the scars and bruises that it would leave on my body. But it never came…I fell, and someone caught me.

I hear my heart pounding wildly from my chest. I could hear my insides scream in panic. For just one touch of those hands, I already knew who was my savior. It was her, my—not, not my, she never belonged to me…it would just be…Natsuki.

"Shizuru…"

The way you gently uttered my name could have sent me into utter bliss, but I fought back the desire, I fought back the need, I fought back the feeling…with this feeling only comes pain, and I don't think my heart could bear any more of it…

"Are you all right?"

I feel your hand touching my cheek. It glided softly down to my chin, lifting it up to let me see you again in full light.

"Don't leave me again. Please don't go…"

The moment I hear your desperate plead, all my thought of self-preservation has disappeared out of thin air. You said don't go. You want me to stay. But to stay means I will feel pain. But pain, I will defy, for the one I most cherish…

----

We spent the rest of the day in your apartment, catching up on old times, like good friends do…but only to be your friend, is what kills me. I do not want to be your friend, Natsuki. I want to be _yours_.

"I've been hearing a lot of news about you lately…" You started as you hand me a cup of tea.

"My…all these years, you've been practicing at tea-serving, Natsuki?" I couldn't help but tease.

"Hai. Tea always reminds me of you."

I inwardly blushed at this little admission. On the outside, I was still as calm as the sea.

"Anyway…" You continued, but hesitated a bit. "I heard this news about you and Matsumoto Jiro-san."

Ah, the musician that has always been following me around. The one that's always been asking for my heart, no matter how many times I've told him that I could not. For I already gave out my heart to someone.

"It's not true."

"But people say you two are very much in love with each other."

"It's not true." I repeated my last statement, placing down the cup with precise skill. "How could I love him when I already have someone special in my heart?"

"I see…" Somehow, I detect a tint of sadness in your voice. Your demeanor changes, your eyes finding something interesting on the palm of your hands.

"But how about you, Natsuki? Are you in love with someone now?"

I dared to ask. But I dread your answer. I need to know the truth, right here, right now…I need to find some closure before I walk out of your life forever. Tomorrow will be a brand-new day. Tomorrow would start my journey towards absolute freedom. Freedom from the love for my Natsuki.

"I don't think I could love someone."

My heart breaks. I found myself holding back my own arms, because I want to reach out and hold you. But you don't need pity. No, not you. Not the ever-so-prideful Kuga Natsuki.

"Love is such a wonderful feeling." _Though sometimes, it could also kill you._

With her head cast down, she mutters, "I don't think I could love someone anymore…" A treacherous tear slides down and stains the perfect face of the angel in front of me.

"…because deep inside, I know that there is only one person whom I truly loved. Who I love all throughout these years…"

Suddenly, as if all the gods in heaven had finally read through the countless prayers I sent them before, I found myself staring intently at your face that is so close to mine.

And I hear you say, "It's you, Shizuru." before I felt warm lips claiming mine…before I realized the beating of two hearts at the same time…

...before my world faded to white.

Author's note:

For Nu, you know who you are.

This is a feeble attempt at writing a one-shot even though I have tons of deadline rearing their ugly heads in front of my face. Ugh.

Disclaimer:

Shizuru and Natsuki belong to Mai-Hime of Sunrise Inc.


End file.
